I seem to have left my pride at pride
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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