I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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