that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
it's not cheating when I paid for it
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Randomize
