Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
