the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
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