I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
You may have noticed the broken smoke detector and melted carpet. We may have accidentally lit a ping pong ball on fire...I'm sorry, but we did our best.
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
GOIN TO BED BEFORE TEQUILA BLEEDS FROM MY EYEBALLS
I'm getting high with a 50 year old car wash guy. Enough said.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
Randomize
