Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
The only downside to doctor sex is that getting choked with a stethoscope leaves marks.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
