Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
So I just stirred my shower drink with my razor.
I'm not going to ask which end you used.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
How many fucks given?
0.12846
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
