So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
So TMI but just realizing I have not masturbated since trump took office. He's sucked the sex drive out of me.
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
