You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
I'm offering you baseball tickets and my vagina, isn't that enough?
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
That moment during finals day when you either convince your teacher to let you out of the room or you shit you pants.
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
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