I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You almost set me on fire last night.
You probably deserved it.
I told your dad we had a nice lunch and hung out for awhile. It seemed more appropriate than "I had a bite of his canned chili and then we ripped each others clothes off."
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
Wife and kids came home early...naked passed out covered in chili cheese Fritos dad will haunt them forever.
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
