i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
I literally need to be slapped with another cock just to notice it.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I AHVE A WINE BUCKETTTTTTT
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
And then before we had sex he was quoting space jam to me
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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