she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
You said that we had to leave the party together and proceeded to repeat the "ducks fly together" speech from The Mighty Ducks word for word. Soon the whole party was quite and started chanting quack..quack...quack..
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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