Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
So I just realized I have three bananas, seven condoms, three lube packets, three tampons, and a shot glass in my bag but no pen #modelstudent
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
It's 5am and I come home to you naked on the kitchen table and 3 people I never saw before fucking on the back porch ... and my weed gummy worms are gone. fuck you I'm taking your mom's offer
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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