So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
If I am telling you about the details of the shits I take I probably don't want to have sex with you. Probably.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
One of my life goals was never to see an uncircumcised dick. I guess that's out the window now.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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