so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
That big chick who gave you the handly polished off one of the walls to the ginger bread house right before she came outside. FYI
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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