I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
I think a van full of parolees just blew me kisses. Thoughts?
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
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