She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Drink a bottle I wine by yourself? Treat yo self
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Literally I woke up the other day and the girl part of me was like “GET CUFFED MOTHERFUCKER” and I went ham on tinder.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
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