there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
i guess i finally out drove tiger woods this morning..
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
My walk of shame turned into having to get his dad to tow my best friends car out of the snowbank in his driveway
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Well when I woke up this morning I didn’t think I’d be masturbating to my own LinkedIn profile today but here we are
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