how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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