Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
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