I want to stick my p in your. b.
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I thought the cops would know I was on shrooms because I was 10ft tall.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Youre the drunk baby that everyone wants to take care of.
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
Hey nothing wrong with those! I can't believe the guys who let me see where they live on first dates. Even more surprising, I don't stalk them after they've done me wrong.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
Sorry for face planting onto the table with all our alcohol on it
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
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