He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I just sent him 3 long ass texts about how to tell a girl how he feels. I should get a fucking friend zone medal.
I will make you one.
Good. It needs "forever alone" engraved on it
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
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