im as drunk as the barefoot contessa. GET TO MY LEVEL
dude. stop pregaming the food network.
let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
I'm sorry I drunk dialed you before realizing that you were already in bed with me.
I should start an etsy shop with all the jewelry and clothes women leave at my house
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Randomize
