at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
admittedly, it's a little weird getting relationship advice from the mother of a former one night stand. but she's a wise lady and she buys me drinks, so i'm ok with it.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
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