you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
Was I holding a cat when you saw me? Because that was the height of that party for me.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
I woke up on the hammock spooning a box of Cheese Itz.
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
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