you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
I woke up in a chipotle parking lot with an industrial sized box of condoms and a bag of dounut holes. I need Jesus
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Because of you I'm damaged goods. I'm a fucking soup can and you dropped me.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Randomize
