no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
So I'm already mostly naked in a kind of bed but obviously too lazy to take my boots off. It's like January 1st is already here
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm going to blow a ton of money on sex toys just so I can tell you to do better than them.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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