Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
Blood and glitter go together right?
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Randomize
