He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
lets start a swedish sibling band together
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Randomize
