I hate all girls vehemently.
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
all i remember is screaming butter knifes are for pussies.
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
If I'm not up by 8, will you please knock on my door?
That depends, can you stop texting me while you're masturbating?
Touche.
I CAN STILL HEAR YOUR VIBRATOR.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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