I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
obviously he has no clue about college dating. it goes drunken sex then the 1st date
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
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