You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
Was this before, or after you took my brand new bag of shredded cheese, and "Made it rain"?
did i walk over a car last night?
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
5am update: in a toga seeing triple made out with both sexes
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Randomize