am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
We pay for beer, you give birth. It's how the world works.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Randomize
