I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
