Dude?? where did you go after Wildcats last night? Last I heard you went off with one of the girls we danced with?
Negative - This is his GF, Bobby is in Jail for a DUI. Thanks for the info.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
he was persistant. I supposedly owe him a bj from high school.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
Randomize
