The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
Randomize
