Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
she made my bed before she left. i think i'm gonna keep banging her to get the housework done
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Randomize
