You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
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