Honestly I wish you never came into my life. I know I don't want you. But I keep trying to get you back bc of the memories
I don't see you I see the memories. All the time
either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
Randomize
