guys are not supposed to queef...right?
you need to know that there is a kid here wearing an i mosh for Jesus shirt
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Thank you for getting us into that car accident. I have had more guys hit on me than ever before because of my broken fingers.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Get his dick out of your ass and put on some pants we're here
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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