Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
you will always have a special place in my vag
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
