But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
We’ve discussed sex and dinner. Like chicken nuggets while doing it doggie and watching tv.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
