I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
