Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Randomize
