she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
I don't think brook has ever known best
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He made me a "booty call of the year" award.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
sex in a hospital.. check
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
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