I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
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