:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We got drunk before dinner. People at the other tables were praying for us.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
