Those balls look pretty dangerous.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I'm pretty sure we got the cab driver deported
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
Randomize
