$35 all you can drink last night. Friend 1 woke up in a hotel lounge, friend 2 pissed himself and woke up wearing friend 1's spare pants, and my toilet indicates I threw up extensively.
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
My day may involve a drug pinata. I LOVE MY LIFE.
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
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