Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
You were staring right at you dick at the urinals, then looked at all the other guys dicks and fist pumped saying "I win!"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Randomize
