weddingsv make me drug and hornr
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
The cops just showed up and arrested her. It's our 2nd date. Do I have to hang out her with her 3 kids until she makes bail or can I leave?
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
Last time i carry you out of a forest
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Crying on the toilet and taking a shit. This is what being an adult is about
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Randomize
