Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
drinks after work?
that question mark offends me.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
