his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Take my keys. Load me into the vehicle. Drive. Get food. Come back. These are my demands.
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
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