Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Actually considered writing down one of the numbers on the bathroom stall. That's how much I miss vagina.
I mean, I'm all about sharing, but when he tells me about his wet dreams about Oprah, I think it's taking it too far.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
he kissed both of us goodnight when we dropped him off...I didn't know if I was more offended or impressed
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
