Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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