Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The hot guy sitting next to me in the lib is reading a book called "Impersonal sex in public places." How wrong would it be to give him my number when I bounce?
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well I'm in a stranger's bed.
Gotta leave to watch the Lions
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
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