Oww! U thought rug burn was bad! Fuckin carseat burn hurts like a mother!!!
Wtf?
Use the slutty part of ur brain.
Just threw up off a chairlift. my life is now complete.
Im so hungover that my 6 year old cousine made me aspirine and coffee out of playdoh...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I promised to leave my panties on but I didn't promise to not have sex
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
Randomize
