Having an 'SDSU Mom' sticker is just like say 'Hi, my daughter has an std"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
I may be in pain from falling off the roof but getting to the morning roof keg was well worth it.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
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