whatcha mean you cant get rid of genital warts? thats not what my girlfriend says
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
