she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Last night turned out to be an expensive trip to your house between the ticket and the plan b. (Well I haven't gotten that yet)
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
