It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
Randomize
