we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I don't care how hot she is, her cat has pissed on me twice.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
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