So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Randomize
