the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
Less talking, more tequila
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
Randomize
