Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
I'm gonna get drunk and through up on the first happy couple I see.
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
