apparently i started the naked brigade. and depantsed everyone who wasn't naked. her parents must hate me.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
Dude I just masturbated laying underneath my Christmas tree. Apparently all I want for Christmas is to get laid.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
I will call him whatever I please, including flaccid dick on forehead guy but not limited to watermelon cunt head.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
All she said to me before going to get another shot was "Damn, I'd eat her out."
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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